I am working on my PC writing some program. Suddenly I notice that the vision in my left eye is blurred. I then remembered that during dinner time, I had accidentally splashed chicken herbal soup into my left eye. I had washed and rinsed the left eye yet there was persistent blurring of vision.
I can sense the arising of stressful thoughts. I do not know what the contents of the thoughts are except that they are all stressful. They are all so subtle yet I am fully aware of their arising. And effortlessly and magically they just vanished. As with all other occasions, a hearty laugh erupted from the depths of my being. What joy and ecstasy!
Sunday, October 28, 2007
A Mosquito Interlude
I am doing some C# Programming on the PC. Earlier, I had gone to Tesco and had bought a new PS2 Game entitled "Mr Mosquito" for my younger kid - after he had choosen it from the catalog.
Later, at home he had refused to play it - maybe fear or some other unknown reason. As I now type on my program on the PC, I could sense a pang of regretful thoughts just about to hit the surface of consciousness.
Miraculously, it just evaporated! And a hearty laugh burst forth! Followed by a warm embrace of great joy.
At that point, I was pitiful for those people who actually would sink deep into despair and depression after entertaining such self-defeating thoughts... What a shame... Freedom is so close at hand yet so far away... for almost everyone that I know...
I have come a long way since I first started with Byron Katie's TheWork sometime in the early part of 2007. When, I first came upon The Work, actually had to write out all the stressful thoughts and go through the 4 questions and turnaround.
Little by little, without even being conscious of it, the process became internalized. I really did not keep track of the unconcious but gradual process whereby my mind became more and more resistant to stresful thoughts.
Byron Katie is so right, when she says that after practising the Work for a long period of time, one will come to the stage where, one can actually just laugh at the antics of one's silly thoughts.
And for me, I have reached such a state.... My mind has already broken its addiction to believing in the lies conjured by thoughts. It is now sooo rooted in the state of being free... so much so, that even a trace of stressful thought is automatically discarded without an iota of effort!
Later, at home he had refused to play it - maybe fear or some other unknown reason. As I now type on my program on the PC, I could sense a pang of regretful thoughts just about to hit the surface of consciousness.
Miraculously, it just evaporated! And a hearty laugh burst forth! Followed by a warm embrace of great joy.
At that point, I was pitiful for those people who actually would sink deep into despair and depression after entertaining such self-defeating thoughts... What a shame... Freedom is so close at hand yet so far away... for almost everyone that I know...
I have come a long way since I first started with Byron Katie's TheWork sometime in the early part of 2007. When, I first came upon The Work, actually had to write out all the stressful thoughts and go through the 4 questions and turnaround.
Little by little, without even being conscious of it, the process became internalized. I really did not keep track of the unconcious but gradual process whereby my mind became more and more resistant to stresful thoughts.
Byron Katie is so right, when she says that after practising the Work for a long period of time, one will come to the stage where, one can actually just laugh at the antics of one's silly thoughts.
And for me, I have reached such a state.... My mind has already broken its addiction to believing in the lies conjured by thoughts. It is now sooo rooted in the state of being free... so much so, that even a trace of stressful thought is automatically discarded without an iota of effort!
A Toilet Enlightenment
The time is about 9.30 pm. I am at home. I step into the toilet and begin to urinate into the toilet bowl. There is a rumbling of some thoughts just beneath the surface of consciousness. Thoughts about the day's activities were just beginning to break the ice. All of these thoughts are stressful stories: "I shouldn't have written that email...", "I should have remained impartial..", "I should not have gotten involved...", "What will they think of me..."....
Quite unexpectedly, I burst out laughing! The laughter was so intense... and my family members must have heard it as well. It was a most amazing experience. My mind simply refuses to believe the stories that the thoughts were weaving together.
In that very instant, I saw without a shadow of a doubt (as in previous occasions) that all suffering is caused by unquestionably believing the stories that the thoughts tell. I saw , as clearly as the difference between night-and-day, that I was essentially already free and full of joy - that the stories are so childish and immature - how could I, or, anyone ever believe the stories that their minds tell them...
It is with great incredulity that I now look upon myself and others and how so ignorant we are about what is so blindingly obvious... that we actually (in complete ignorance) actually can believe the stories that the thoughts tell us!
I then recall that for the past few weeks, laughter had also erupted without warning. Sometimes I would just smile and sometimes I would just laugh out loud and shake my head in amazement at my ignorance... and the ignorance of my friends, colleagues, family and the people around me...
When thoughts arise in me: "I feel upset, I am angry about....", "People should not..." , "I must not..", I just feel like bursting out laughing.. I am simply amazed... how could people not see that they are insanely and masochistically inflicting suffering on themselves by believing the stories? How could people actually not see what is so obvious? All they need to do is toggle the switch and be instantly free. Just see that it is the story which hurts them, nothing else. Reality is completely devoid of adjectives.
I saw then that everyone I know is asleep... in painful dreams borne out of stories which they created and ignorantly believe in.
And I remember that I used to be like that. Well, I guess some people are so addicted to their stories... what can I say... but simply to laugh out loud [laughing]...
Quite unexpectedly, I burst out laughing! The laughter was so intense... and my family members must have heard it as well. It was a most amazing experience. My mind simply refuses to believe the stories that the thoughts were weaving together.
In that very instant, I saw without a shadow of a doubt (as in previous occasions) that all suffering is caused by unquestionably believing the stories that the thoughts tell. I saw , as clearly as the difference between night-and-day, that I was essentially already free and full of joy - that the stories are so childish and immature - how could I, or, anyone ever believe the stories that their minds tell them...
It is with great incredulity that I now look upon myself and others and how so ignorant we are about what is so blindingly obvious... that we actually (in complete ignorance) actually can believe the stories that the thoughts tell us!
I then recall that for the past few weeks, laughter had also erupted without warning. Sometimes I would just smile and sometimes I would just laugh out loud and shake my head in amazement at my ignorance... and the ignorance of my friends, colleagues, family and the people around me...
When thoughts arise in me: "I feel upset, I am angry about....", "People should not..." , "I must not..", I just feel like bursting out laughing.. I am simply amazed... how could people not see that they are insanely and masochistically inflicting suffering on themselves by believing the stories? How could people actually not see what is so obvious? All they need to do is toggle the switch and be instantly free. Just see that it is the story which hurts them, nothing else. Reality is completely devoid of adjectives.
I saw then that everyone I know is asleep... in painful dreams borne out of stories which they created and ignorantly believe in.
And I remember that I used to be like that. Well, I guess some people are so addicted to their stories... what can I say... but simply to laugh out loud [laughing]...
Saturday, October 20, 2007
A Car Accident Which I am Grateful For
This incident happened sometime in August.
It was lunch break and I left the office. I walked to the carpark, entered my car which was reversed-parked beside a row of pine trees. There was a car on my left and another one with a large behind on my right and it was obstructing my view. After casting a glance to my left and right, I drove out of the parking lot - and suddenly, crashed into the left rear section of a black car which appeared out of nowhere! Apparently, it was speeding past from right to left and was not there when I looked earlier.
I alighted and so did the other driver whom I immediately recognized to be John - one of my previous students in my Engineering Class. The left rear door and body of his car was quite badly dented. As for my car, the whole front bumper was hanging on its hinges. The right and left headlights was broken to pieces and scatterred on the road.
I could sense some very stressful thoughts just about to surface - and I instinctively knew that if I entertained them, I would plunge immediately into the bottomless pit of despair, regret, self-loathing and probably anger. But to my amazement, the thoughts never surfaced! Instead, the opposite thoughts (turnaround) surfaced - "What happened should have happened - because it did..." It was so spontaneous and subtle that it was felt rather than heard inwardly. I did not feel even a tinge of stress or regret over the accident.
At that point, I knew once and for all that I had achieved the permanent state of impertubability. It was as though, no events, no matter how bad others perceive it, could ever ever disturb me.
I later had to pay $700 to John and $1200 to my mechanic for the repairs - and this came at a time when I barely had money to buy myself lunch. Somehow, nature had managed to find a resource somewhere and the money came almost seemingly out of some reserves which I never expected.
This car accident was a significant event for me - it sort of confirms once and for all that sufferring for me - had ended. There was no doubt in my mind. Even if there were to be stressful thoughts in future, I know there and then, that my mind would almost instantaneously see the lies in them.
Once the snake has been recognized as a rope, it was impossible to believe otherwise. Incredible!
It was lunch break and I left the office. I walked to the carpark, entered my car which was reversed-parked beside a row of pine trees. There was a car on my left and another one with a large behind on my right and it was obstructing my view. After casting a glance to my left and right, I drove out of the parking lot - and suddenly, crashed into the left rear section of a black car which appeared out of nowhere! Apparently, it was speeding past from right to left and was not there when I looked earlier.
I alighted and so did the other driver whom I immediately recognized to be John - one of my previous students in my Engineering Class. The left rear door and body of his car was quite badly dented. As for my car, the whole front bumper was hanging on its hinges. The right and left headlights was broken to pieces and scatterred on the road.
I could sense some very stressful thoughts just about to surface - and I instinctively knew that if I entertained them, I would plunge immediately into the bottomless pit of despair, regret, self-loathing and probably anger. But to my amazement, the thoughts never surfaced! Instead, the opposite thoughts (turnaround) surfaced - "What happened should have happened - because it did..." It was so spontaneous and subtle that it was felt rather than heard inwardly. I did not feel even a tinge of stress or regret over the accident.
At that point, I knew once and for all that I had achieved the permanent state of impertubability. It was as though, no events, no matter how bad others perceive it, could ever ever disturb me.
I later had to pay $700 to John and $1200 to my mechanic for the repairs - and this came at a time when I barely had money to buy myself lunch. Somehow, nature had managed to find a resource somewhere and the money came almost seemingly out of some reserves which I never expected.
This car accident was a significant event for me - it sort of confirms once and for all that sufferring for me - had ended. There was no doubt in my mind. Even if there were to be stressful thoughts in future, I know there and then, that my mind would almost instantaneously see the lies in them.
Once the snake has been recognized as a rope, it was impossible to believe otherwise. Incredible!
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