The time is about 9.30 pm. I am at home. I step into the toilet and begin to urinate into the toilet bowl. There is a rumbling of some thoughts just beneath the surface of consciousness. Thoughts about the day's activities were just beginning to break the ice. All of these thoughts are stressful stories: "I shouldn't have written that email...", "I should have remained impartial..", "I should not have gotten involved...", "What will they think of me..."....
Quite unexpectedly, I burst out laughing! The laughter was so intense... and my family members must have heard it as well. It was a most amazing experience. My mind simply refuses to believe the stories that the thoughts were weaving together.
In that very instant, I saw without a shadow of a doubt (as in previous occasions) that all suffering is caused by unquestionably believing the stories that the thoughts tell. I saw , as clearly as the difference between night-and-day, that I was essentially already free and full of joy - that the stories are so childish and immature - how could I, or, anyone ever believe the stories that their minds tell them...
It is with great incredulity that I now look upon myself and others and how so ignorant we are about what is so blindingly obvious... that we actually (in complete ignorance) actually can believe the stories that the thoughts tell us!
I then recall that for the past few weeks, laughter had also erupted without warning. Sometimes I would just smile and sometimes I would just laugh out loud and shake my head in amazement at my ignorance... and the ignorance of my friends, colleagues, family and the people around me...
When thoughts arise in me: "I feel upset, I am angry about....", "People should not..." , "I must not..", I just feel like bursting out laughing.. I am simply amazed... how could people not see that they are insanely and masochistically inflicting suffering on themselves by believing the stories? How could people actually not see what is so obvious? All they need to do is toggle the switch and be instantly free. Just see that it is the story which hurts them, nothing else. Reality is completely devoid of adjectives.
I saw then that everyone I know is asleep... in painful dreams borne out of stories which they created and ignorantly believe in.
And I remember that I used to be like that. Well, I guess some people are so addicted to their stories... what can I say... but simply to laugh out loud [laughing]...
No comments:
Post a Comment